Manifestation Didn’t Find Me Love—But This Did

There I was, sitting on the floor of my room. It looked like the Tasmanian Devil had just blown through—pieces of my perfectly curated vision board scattered everywhere. I was huddled in the corner, full-blown fetal position, rocking back and forth, looking like a scene straight out of Girl, Interrupted… and yes, probably eating my own hair.

“What have I done?” I thought to myself.

No wonder no man wants to be with me… I am absolutely insane.

If I could go back in time, I’d give that girl the biggest hug and tell her everything we know now. That no amount of affirmations, vision boards, or positive thoughts were going to magically bring her the romantic partner she so desperately wanted. She had to do the inner work—and it wasn’t going to be easy or happen overnight. But it would be so worth it.

Early in my healing journey, I watched The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and thought I had hit the jackpot. You mean I can just think positive thoughts, slap a few pictures on a vision board, and poof—get whatever I want?! It felt like the miracle weight loss solution… but for your entire life. And I was all in. Sign me up!

I became obsessed with the law of attraction and devoured anything manifestation-related I could get my hands on. I turned into a manifesting machine—travel, money, new jobs. I was manifesting left and right. And to be fair, thinking more positively did help my mental health. But there was one area of my life that refused to budge.

No matter how many hot fitness guys I posted on my vision boards, or how many detailed lists I made of my “dream man,” nothing changed. You guessed it…

I couldn’t manifest a relationship.

And trust me—I tried every Law of Attraction trick in the book. I did visualization exercises. I repeated daily affirmations to call in my soulmate. I set intentions and then “released them” (still not totally sure what that means). I even made the most beautiful vision board covered in dreamy images of the perfect relationship.

A year into this manifestation journey, my vision couldn’t have been clearer—but I still wasn’t seeing any real progress. Then one day, after yet another disappointing rejection from someone, I just… lost it. For lack of a better term, I lost my shit. I went full postal—ripping my vision board apart and smashing it to pieces with my bare hands like a total maniac.

But here’s the truth: I wasn’t a maniac. I wasn’t crazy.

I was a girl with unresolved trauma, desperately craving love and searching for her worth in someone else’s arms. A girl who thought that if she could just be in the perfect relationship, then she’d finally be happy. Finally be healed. And she wanted that yesterday—like so many of us do.

It took me another year (and a few more vision boards) to finally realize that while manifestation tools can be helpful for getting clear on your desires, the only true way to call in healthy, lasting love… is by doing the hard, messy, uncomfortable work of healing yourself from the inside out.

Over the next few years, I started doing the real work. I went to therapy. I worked with psychic life coaches. I journaled, traveled the world, got to know myself and the patterns I kept attracting. I read every self-help book I could get my hands on. I basically Eat, Prayed, and Loved my way through my healing.

And guess what? I did find love…

Self-love—as corny as that might sound.

I healed so much that I now know my worth, my value, and what I want and need in a relationship. I love myself so deeply that I no longer chase, beg, or try to earn love. I got here by doing the hard, uncomfortable, soul-stretching inner work. And trust me—it’s not for the faint of heart.

There were moments of deep loneliness. I grieved parts of myself I didn’t even know were there. I had to let go of versions of me that no longer served the woman I was becoming. Because sometimes, in order to call in the life (and love) you truly desire, you have to become the version of yourself who’s ready to receive it.

I still love manifestation and Law of Attraction techniques—I even use them with many of the clients I coach today. But now I understand that they’re meant to support your inner work, not serve as a shortcut to avoid it.

So if you’re sitting on the floor, surrounded by the shredded remains of a vision board, wondering what’s wrong with you—know this: nothing is wrong with you. You’re not broken. You’re not unlovable. You’re just being invited into a deeper kind of healing.

Manifestation tools can be powerful, but they’re not magic wands. Real transformation happens when you turn inward. When you stop looking for someone to complete you, and instead become whole on your own. When you stop chasing love and start becoming love.

It’s not the easiest path, but I promise—it’s the most rewarding.

Because once you truly know your worth, you’ll never again settle for anything less than what you deserve.

And that, my friend, is where the magic really begins.